May 2013
2 tags
wartortles:
sir please leave the caption writing for people who are actually funny
dungeonsanddamsels:
this week on “gay porn videos have the weirdest titles”
plethoricdreams:
azkabanescapee:
carbonated-milk:
hey if ur ever feelin shitty use this
Holy shit I’m trying not to cry.
Awwwwww
darrynek:
hello 911 yes i’d like to report a murder
this bitch killed my vibe
hythe:
fwips:
orlandobloomers:
people used to have to paint their own selfies
this urn will turn you into a tree after you die
tannietart:
seapeny:
rainbow-road-to-happiness:
You can choose what kind of tree you want to become
Idk I just find this beautiful
just imagine cemeteries looking like this
a forest of living, changing, beautiful trees. I think a tombstone holds much more finality in death than a tree. It’s like you are living on symbolically through something greater than yourself.
this is a...
necrophilofthefuture:
when i was in 3rd grade we were all drawing pictures for our parents for christmas but im a really shitty artist so i got mad and when this girl amelia wasnt looking i took her drawing because i thought it was so good. i gave it to my parents for christmas and to this day it is still hanging up in my house because my parents think i drew it.
aquus:
i just thought of the cheeto girls and laughed really hard and then i made this
Anonymous asked: you're so cute <3
1 tag
i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
2 tags
“It is funny how you do not miss affection until it is given, but once it is, it...”
– Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing (via onlytheilluminatisurvive)
1 tag
codykru:
everyone’s middle name should be motherfuckin
1 tag
people: so what kind of music do you like?
me: ugh it's not that simple
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
1 tag
